Bleh

Shouldn't be crying but I am. Should be happy and stuff, but I'm not. Got reminded that today is Valentine's day. Was then reminded of stuff I wanted and planned on doing today with Return... and it's not going to happen.

...

I don't wish to be reminded of the past...

Not sure what... to do...

Don't want to make people feel sorry for me.
I should not apologize for every little thing I do wrong, even if it's beyond my control.
I should not constantly remember harmful events.
I should not go on guilt trips.
Should not be crying.

I should tell the truth.
Want to hold my love in my arms.
Want to say how much Return means to me.

I did a picture sometime back that I had planned on putting on my website for either Return's birthday or for Valentine's day.
I actually did alot of pictures.
I'm afraid to show them to anyone.
I'm afraid to even scan them.

I'm rambling now.
Should I just... shut up when I feel depressed so no one will know? Or act like things are fine?
I've been wanting to tell people what's on my mind all day today.. but I kept putting it off. Then I figured that... it's not right to dump my problems on others... even though they're willing to listen.
I want to tell someone...
I don't want to be a bother...