Ponderings...

I'm mad... upset... etc.
I'm also sick.
I'd like to say it's something I ate, but being the fact I didn't eat anything most likely has something to do with it.
I don't know... I need to talk with someone. However at the time most of what's on my mind is more than likely angst. I dunno... things are just on my mind.
Heh.. isn't is amazing how a mood can quickly change by just seeing one thing?
Got some gifts for peeps...
Seems as though my sister is coming to visit. Sounds like a nice thing... she's talking more and more about it with my mom, so more than likely it'll happen instead of just random talkings.
Work is still the same old, same old... 'cept lots of peeps are gonna be quitting soon here. That'll stink... guess sooner or later I'll be doing the same. I'll say this... the managers are good people... the job itself kinda bites.
There's still no snow... kinda disappointed. Don't know why, just am. I mean... it doesn't really feel like Christmas when people in North Dakota, of all places... are wearing shorts.
I was thinking about things... just randomly thinking.
I feel as though right now, my life serves no purpose. The simplest things bother me... like I lost all confidence in myself after.. that. Don't know if I'll tell anyone what happened, but a few know. I have problems... reaching out to people. I was told this... and the fact I have problems forgiving myself over things I myself have no control over.
Sometimes... I just sit and wonder, 'what if'... I don't know...
It's that strange, empty feeling right now I have. I want to open up to someone how I truly feel, but I feel at the same time it's not any good to do so. I had some talkings with my mom... heh.
I know right now I'm doing things to harm myself... but I don't care. I know others do... but I need a reason to go on. I want to find the reason for myself.. not based on what others tell me.
It's kinda hard to be told things... and feel as though what you've been told is to be kept secret.
Heard a song... Landslide. I remember it because of someone's lj entry... heh.
I don't know... all next week for some reason I have off. Not sure why...
I thought this paycheck was itty bitty.. this next one is gonna be even more so.
I remember someone telling me some people like to be upset to get attention...
I remember someone saying I was selfish...
I just... don't know anymore...
I'm on prozac right now... seeking help.
Sometimes people do in fact do such things for attention... but what of those who actually need help..? I feel misunderstood but at the same time... that's my own fault.
I feel alone... I'm sure others have felt the same way at one point or another...
I just... don't know anymore.