Hmmm...

So I sit here and think.
Think of things I shouldn't think of which causes me to believe I'm nothing but someone who breaks promises and it's a stupid random thought for me to be thinking of the people who want nothing more to do with me.
I close my eyes at night and there's just all these jumbled thoughts in my mind that I want to tell to someone.. just anyone who would listen.
No one can help me when I don't ask for it but at the same time what if I ask for it and they don't want to help me?

Right now I'm viewing myself as someone who uses people, does nothing to help others, promise people stuff and never stay true to those words... like some sort of liar.

So many questions in my mind... makes my head hurt at times.

So anyway people.. I'm not a good friend for whatever reason, and who said this? I did. Just based on things I've done that make me a bad person.

Why is it so hard to see the good things I've done?
End of angst.

(no subject)

Update on my babies.
Sora's tail is kinna sorta growing back. but he's got funky pale patches where his scales went poofle.
Golbez and Il P. are doing just fine.
Raistlin and Kite are turning darker in color.
Khyle and Dynamo are going for some bubblenest contest.
I have two new babies...
A red one that didn't make it... it saddens me... might be that one bowl.. but that one bowl ish of teh borked.. perhaps they'll stop getting so sick now. *feels sorry for the loss of the red one*
Though.. I have a pale one with blue-greeny fins...
Wanted a purple one but when I went today it was gone... there was another pale and purple one but something about him just didn't catch my eye like the other one had. So I ended up getting a steel midnight blue colored one.
He's got teeny fins. Must be young.
The steel blue one was more active than the pale and purple one as well... although the pale and purple one gave me the 'buy me' eyes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll go back if I get some check in the mail... doubtful that will happen.
So the two nameless are still nameless...
I'm thinking Cain and Cecil but unsure as of now.

Since the dog is gone it's been real quiet in the house...
I've lost my ambition to do much of anything.
All this over a dog.. I'm pathetic