Over the ridge

[dynamo_hunter_a]

In trying to recall Webster.
I can't really remember how it really happened, other than he was introduced to me by Eric. Maybe it's the fact Web was Eric's boyfriend, and I was happy for him. The thing with me is I'm terrible at remembering things. My mind often goes different directions and I lose track of things real easy.
I was always quiet and failed to ask questions and start up a conversation. Usually I just smiled and nodded.. the laugh I do. I dunno why I laugh so easily when around people I'm comfortable with. Maybe I'm making up for all the time I never did it when I was little, I dunno.
I really can't remember how I first met Web, and it bothers me a little.
Though I suppose what matters right now is how I found out we shared similiar interests here and there. He was a big Captain N fan. Hehe.
This was around the time of the whole issue between going on between some online friends. He actually knew one of them.
I think that began various little online talks and chats.
I'd go over to his house now and then, just to hang out and chill. Usually ended up downstairs in his little basement. Lots of little things down there.
He went with me to the Pow Wow one year. I'm grateful but I don't think I ever told him.

We would always keep in contact online though.. and eventually I found out of his little website thing he had going on... he was the webmaster of it and featured a small daily comic. It was Captain N related. Hehe. Well anyway, the more I got involved with his online thingie, and I think after much convincing (I don't remember) he finally popped me in as a character to his little comic.
Much lulz, as he represented me with the Dynamo sprite. Even more lulz as Dynamo's sprite sheet doesn't ever feature him running. Guess we never put much thought into that.

Well anyway... I remember once little online-skirmish incident. He didn't understand what was going on really, so I guess he was calling us out or something. The strip featured that day included Dynamo and Zero calling eachother stupid for no apparent reason and wouldn't even talk to the other. It brings a chuckle to me everytime I see it.. so I explained the issues to him to the best of my knowledge, and I suppose I never said I truly held a grudge against the other party.

He could never really come to my house, as he had allergies. Though eventually I got myself up and away from the computer more often. I remember something totally random he said to me... he thought girls looked sexy with a big cigar. Yeah that was kinna outta the ballpark, but not as much, since he wanted some that night.

As the years passed, naturally things happen and friends drift away. I'd still try to catch him online to chat with now and then, but again I had little to say. He wanted me to come out to Fargo a few times, but I always said I'd try.
I say that a lot.. I can try do to this, or that.. when regarding a friend who wishes me to go somewhere with them.

I made a little Remember Tribute pic thing a few days ago when I heard the news... http://fanart.lionking.org/Artists/Raven_Dynamo/Miss.jpg
I guess what hurt was the fact I never got to hang out with him as much as I could've. I didn't have bad intentions, I just always never knew what to do when I went out to chill with someone.

At the funeral yesterday I failed to see the connection right away. I never knew as much about him and his family as I could've, so I was a little confused at first when I heard a native man. There were many people there, so when I had finally arrived, the only room left was to stand outside. So I could only listen, and have mental images float in my mind.
So when Keith Bear spoke, yes, I was a little confused as mentioned, but I suppose it should've dawned on me as he had talks about his dad and the pow wow and the sound systems. Blah. In any case.. it wasn't the normal Christain funeral and such.. but more of the way his man talked about his beliefs and how the Native Americans remembered people. It somehow made me wish myself knew a little more about my own culture. I always can, naturally, but I just never really tried I suppose.
Back on track.. this man said Webster was never really gone. He, and those who have passed on, are in a new life. They have started a new journey. A new life, just over the ridge. He played a flute, and said something along the lines of, when planned out, the song was there, but when the song fails, it was as if the spirit was talking to them, and wished to be heard through the song, improvised more or less.. but it was the spirit who came to them at that moment.
Very emotional.. and when members of his family came to speak, you could hear the sorrow in their voices. When friends were offered to share a word with everyone, I wanted to mention something, anything.. but I couldn't really muster up words.

Though I think that the phrase 'over the ridge' kinna is gonna stick with me. Maybe I'll catch a glimpse of him.. just over that ridge, and see remember him for who he was. A really good kind fun loving person.


I had stayed up and hung out with Eric the rest of the day.. I really wanted to go home and nap though. Hehe. Yet I enjoyed the time I spent with him yesterday c:

Yes, I am sad.. I've never lost a friend to death before. I've never grieved for a person before. Yet I'm trying to go on about life.. I can't force myself to be happy, but the sadness will fade, replaced by the cheerful memories and chuckles.

My sympathies go out greatly to his family.