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dynamo_hunter_a... Hm.
Random secondtiny entry for today, and then I'm pretty sure I'll be done posting for the day.. maybe, who knows.
Uh...
I'm gonna be a horrible person when I say this... but the drama between those I consider friends, online and IRL needs to stop. I know I sound horrible for saying such a thing when lately I've been a drama queen. Though.. I guess I've just had some good ol' Me time and just.. kinna figured things out here and there. Things that work for me.
Later found out that the whole "I'm not really a fan of D" is not flying well with some others who know me... and they're gonna question what was meant by this statement. That and another statement along the lines of "He's stealing my friends" is another thing that's gonna be looked into...
Man... sometimes I just don't know... I mean.. okay I'm awful for being neutral... as I tend to hear both sides of the story, and can see both sides... but then when one person starts to accuse me as a 'bad friend' for hanging with the 'enemy' that's when I think things are getting a little out of hand... but of course I still just sit back and keep quiet.
Guess I'm just waiting for the right moment?... I mean.. a few snobby comments here and there are easily shrugged off.. but I guess it can get to a point where it's just ridiculous.
I asked what was a flaw of mine, and it seemed like the answer took a while to find. Though when I was told my flaws.. I understood where they came from, and in all truth was not offended, as I felt better knowing it came from someone I knew and trusted, then say someone I hardly knew. One example.. I'm indecisive.. and I do not disagree with this. I'm very indecisive. That and ... I tend to be a sheep. Looking for a leader, and it would be nice if I took the reigns now and then. I understood this as well.
It could be because of where I am, still living with the parents, being the youngest, having mum always telling me what I can or cannot do. Always looking for approval from someone, thus following people around. The indecisiveness. My mother is a really good person, but sometimes perhaps I may depend on her guidance too often? As she's much older than me, and went through alot but at the same time, I understand I have to learn things for myself as well. Sure she may say an idea is bad, advises against it, but now and then ya gotta learn from experience... for the simple fact that ... perhaps it was a bad thing for her, does not mean it'd be a bad thing for me.
I dunno, maybe I'm wrong in that thinking. Who knows.
Another thing... emotionally unstable.
Moody. One cannot tell if I'm really fine or not. I may say I'm fine... but it's quite obvious I'm not. Perhaps I just don't realize I'm that easy to read. It was also stated, that yes, I do let the emotions build up, and eventually I do just break down. I'll have to work on this..
Though I am glad that someone told me, and was honest about it when I asked them. They said it in such a sincere manner, that I actually got teary eyed, cause I was happy to actually hear this from someone I trusted. Really meant alot.
This was actually part of my assignment for class. lawlz.. crazy, huh? This job club thing is kind of also a... learn who you are type of thing as well, because once you learn your emotions, you know how to control them better in the work environment.
I'm gonna lie down as I had lunch with a friend, and haven't slept yet since ... whenever yesterday. Though please, if anyone wishes to call or txt, feel free.
Random second
Uh...
I'm gonna be a horrible person when I say this... but the drama between those I consider friends, online and IRL needs to stop. I know I sound horrible for saying such a thing when lately I've been a drama queen. Though.. I guess I've just had some good ol' Me time and just.. kinna figured things out here and there. Things that work for me.
Later found out that the whole "I'm not really a fan of D" is not flying well with some others who know me... and they're gonna question what was meant by this statement. That and another statement along the lines of "He's stealing my friends" is another thing that's gonna be looked into...
Man... sometimes I just don't know... I mean.. okay I'm awful for being neutral... as I tend to hear both sides of the story, and can see both sides... but then when one person starts to accuse me as a 'bad friend' for hanging with the 'enemy' that's when I think things are getting a little out of hand... but of course I still just sit back and keep quiet.
Guess I'm just waiting for the right moment?... I mean.. a few snobby comments here and there are easily shrugged off.. but I guess it can get to a point where it's just ridiculous.
I asked what was a flaw of mine, and it seemed like the answer took a while to find. Though when I was told my flaws.. I understood where they came from, and in all truth was not offended, as I felt better knowing it came from someone I knew and trusted, then say someone I hardly knew. One example.. I'm indecisive.. and I do not disagree with this. I'm very indecisive. That and ... I tend to be a sheep. Looking for a leader, and it would be nice if I took the reigns now and then. I understood this as well.
It could be because of where I am, still living with the parents, being the youngest, having mum always telling me what I can or cannot do. Always looking for approval from someone, thus following people around. The indecisiveness. My mother is a really good person, but sometimes perhaps I may depend on her guidance too often? As she's much older than me, and went through alot but at the same time, I understand I have to learn things for myself as well. Sure she may say an idea is bad, advises against it, but now and then ya gotta learn from experience... for the simple fact that ... perhaps it was a bad thing for her, does not mean it'd be a bad thing for me.
I dunno, maybe I'm wrong in that thinking. Who knows.
Another thing... emotionally unstable.
Moody. One cannot tell if I'm really fine or not. I may say I'm fine... but it's quite obvious I'm not. Perhaps I just don't realize I'm that easy to read. It was also stated, that yes, I do let the emotions build up, and eventually I do just break down. I'll have to work on this..
Though I am glad that someone told me, and was honest about it when I asked them. They said it in such a sincere manner, that I actually got teary eyed, cause I was happy to actually hear this from someone I trusted. Really meant alot.
This was actually part of my assignment for class. lawlz.. crazy, huh? This job club thing is kind of also a... learn who you are type of thing as well, because once you learn your emotions, you know how to control them better in the work environment.
I'm gonna lie down as I had lunch with a friend, and haven't slept yet since ... whenever yesterday. Though please, if anyone wishes to call or txt, feel free.
