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dynamo_hunter_aDidn't go to work today due to the fact I've got some cold or something. Slight fever and sore throat. Nothing much.
Went offline while brother came home so he could play his music, cartoons, and whatever else. Originally planned on drawing.
However I sat in my room listening to music for a good two, three hours. I was tired but couldn't sleep.
Turned the lights off, tossed and turned a bit.
I did a lot of thinking though.
Gonna keep alot of that away from people who don't wanna read it though.
Sometimes I often wonder -why- I feel like a burden onto others when I talk about my problems.
I sat there and talked this through my head.
Why is it I have nothing interesting to say anymore?
I go to to work... come home, ask what's going on and that's all there is really.
I feel alone for some reason. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure though most people don't wanna put up with my angst, with my self pity and all that, which is why they're not talking to me.
What if it's the other way around though? What if it's them who are afraid to talk to me?
Just mindless rambles... someone might think I'm talking about them, gasp... surprise surprise, I'm not.
These were just... those random things going through my head. Some of the other things I won't mention. I let my drawings do the talking for that.
I could talk about my problems to someone... but why? Why should I bother someone with -my own problems-... It's obvious that I want to talk isn't it? Why don't I then?
Because I'm sure you don't want to hear about it. You've got your own problems, your own worries.
I guess I'm trying to be independant like people want me to?
Feeling alone... that's my own problem because I pushed everyone away who cared. Friends. I shoved them away... and I'm trying to show I meant none of that but, I can't tell if it's working.
So this is why I put all this in an lj cut text thing.
It's angsty, self pity, and all that but I needed to write it somewhere... I could do that whole.. 'It's my journal' thing... and make a big deal outta it... but I'm pretty certain that after I've got it all out, it will end up being deleted.
With that outta the way... I have new piccies to color and the like.
Went offline while brother came home so he could play his music, cartoons, and whatever else. Originally planned on drawing.
However I sat in my room listening to music for a good two, three hours. I was tired but couldn't sleep.
Turned the lights off, tossed and turned a bit.
I did a lot of thinking though.
Gonna keep alot of that away from people who don't wanna read it though.
Sometimes I often wonder -why- I feel like a burden onto others when I talk about my problems.
I sat there and talked this through my head.
Why is it I have nothing interesting to say anymore?
I go to to work... come home, ask what's going on and that's all there is really.
I feel alone for some reason. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure though most people don't wanna put up with my angst, with my self pity and all that, which is why they're not talking to me.
What if it's the other way around though? What if it's them who are afraid to talk to me?
Just mindless rambles... someone might think I'm talking about them, gasp... surprise surprise, I'm not.
These were just... those random things going through my head. Some of the other things I won't mention. I let my drawings do the talking for that.
I could talk about my problems to someone... but why? Why should I bother someone with -my own problems-... It's obvious that I want to talk isn't it? Why don't I then?
Because I'm sure you don't want to hear about it. You've got your own problems, your own worries.
I guess I'm trying to be independant like people want me to?
Feeling alone... that's my own problem because I pushed everyone away who cared. Friends. I shoved them away... and I'm trying to show I meant none of that but, I can't tell if it's working.
So this is why I put all this in an lj cut text thing.
It's angsty, self pity, and all that but I needed to write it somewhere... I could do that whole.. 'It's my journal' thing... and make a big deal outta it... but I'm pretty certain that after I've got it all out, it will end up being deleted.
With that outta the way... I have new piccies to color and the like.
