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dynamo_hunter_ahm...
Need to talk things over with various people.
However it's a little hard to do when the other party wants nothing more to do with you.
So it's like.. just drop such things.
As Senshuu said.. let's hope the bad things get better...
and as Rock said.. love comes and goes.
Just wish I didn't feel the way I do at times, but then who doesn't feel that way?
The past is history. Why dwell on it?
If I had something to focus my attention on in the present... something else to find and love... maybe I'd walk away and accept things.
Blah.
Just thinking on things that have been said to me. From old advice, to new advice.
I was to go to the doctors today and talk things over... but I know if I were to talk things over I'd get the whole 'internet people are not worth the time of day' speech. I've had it before. ... and well, yeah.. to me they are. There are real people on the other side of the screen with real feelings and real emotions... Some I've come to consider true friends. Even if we've only met once... or never at all.
Then I'd get the whole 'move out of your parents house' speech. We agreed that until I turn 21 it's best for me to stay living there.
.. and yes, I have gone into a state of depression right now. My job, the way I feel about a few things, and just.. blah.
I didn't get fired.. but instead recieved a two week vacation.
I'm really well liked at BK.. and stuff.
People can be good actors. They act all happy and stuff around others, but on the inside they feel torn and saddened.
I'm an actor. I've come to confuse myself with.. do I let people know how I actually feel, or do I just pretend to be happy so I don't go and angst with them? I hate lashing out at others. I just hate it. When it happens.. I just fly off the hook.
I never mean to, it's not my intention to go and yell at someone.
When you apologize.. you either are truely sorry.. or you are just saying that with no meaning behind it.
I'll say things that I don't mean at all..
People don't know if I'm lying or telling the truth anymore.
In my anger and frustration things I might say are usually lies.. when I'm calm and collected, things I say might look like a lie as well but I'm trying to be honest.
Just gotta try harder as someone once told me.
If I could just go back and make things right, I would... but I can't.
Why am I still dwelling on things...? Something about a small chance, hope, what have you.
If I had a reason, a damn good one, would things be okay?
Probably not. Why do I feel myself these lies?
Why do I constantly hope for something that will never be?
Some people say there are those who live for angst.
I really wish I wasn't one of those people but.. that's how I've been acting for a long time now. Then there are those who are full of angst moreso than me.
Blah...
Need to talk things over with various people.
However it's a little hard to do when the other party wants nothing more to do with you.
So it's like.. just drop such things.
As Senshuu said.. let's hope the bad things get better...
and as Rock said.. love comes and goes.
Just wish I didn't feel the way I do at times, but then who doesn't feel that way?
The past is history. Why dwell on it?
If I had something to focus my attention on in the present... something else to find and love... maybe I'd walk away and accept things.
Blah.
Just thinking on things that have been said to me. From old advice, to new advice.
I was to go to the doctors today and talk things over... but I know if I were to talk things over I'd get the whole 'internet people are not worth the time of day' speech. I've had it before. ... and well, yeah.. to me they are. There are real people on the other side of the screen with real feelings and real emotions... Some I've come to consider true friends. Even if we've only met once... or never at all.
Then I'd get the whole 'move out of your parents house' speech. We agreed that until I turn 21 it's best for me to stay living there.
.. and yes, I have gone into a state of depression right now. My job, the way I feel about a few things, and just.. blah.
I didn't get fired.. but instead recieved a two week vacation.
I'm really well liked at BK.. and stuff.
People can be good actors. They act all happy and stuff around others, but on the inside they feel torn and saddened.
I'm an actor. I've come to confuse myself with.. do I let people know how I actually feel, or do I just pretend to be happy so I don't go and angst with them? I hate lashing out at others. I just hate it. When it happens.. I just fly off the hook.
I never mean to, it's not my intention to go and yell at someone.
When you apologize.. you either are truely sorry.. or you are just saying that with no meaning behind it.
I'll say things that I don't mean at all..
People don't know if I'm lying or telling the truth anymore.
In my anger and frustration things I might say are usually lies.. when I'm calm and collected, things I say might look like a lie as well but I'm trying to be honest.
Just gotta try harder as someone once told me.
If I could just go back and make things right, I would... but I can't.
Why am I still dwelling on things...? Something about a small chance, hope, what have you.
If I had a reason, a damn good one, would things be okay?
Probably not. Why do I feel myself these lies?
Why do I constantly hope for something that will never be?
Some people say there are those who live for angst.
I really wish I wasn't one of those people but.. that's how I've been acting for a long time now. Then there are those who are full of angst moreso than me.
Blah...
