Worthless Birthday greetings...

Yay.
Birthday.
._.
Hrm. Tad upset with some recent events and such. But I'm not gonna go and rant about how evil this person was or anything. Or rant on how I hate them for whatever reason, how they brought me pain. Possibly... every once in awhile I'll speak of how I looked up to this person. Not how much they upset me.
Today is my birthday.
I'm not with the one I truly love. It would've been... wonderful. I remember... months back when... I said it would happen. Reality check... it never did happen. I'm still here, at home... and I feel as though... I'm at fault.
Then again when stupid things seem to happen, things completely out of my control, I feel as though I'm at fault.
With the events that happened if people, anyone I guess, wanna go and point and claim it's my fault to make them feel better, then I guess if it helps, go for it. One shouldn't be miserable.
Never got what I wanted for my birthday gift either... to see my love. That's what I really wanted. I would've done anything... the one thing I didn't do was save money up, get a job... something that would've given me money.
Now that I think about it... not getting any gifts either. Never told anyone what I wanted. Well okay maybe I did, but that gift I never got.
The day has yet to actually come and I guess I can still see how this drab day will turn out.
Got upset at the fact I should've been sleeping instead of staying awake for over 24 hours. Got upset at the fact that I'm leaving Return alone. Again... I feel at fault.
Though I said one shouldn't feel miserable. I'm not sure how I can feel any different. I just want to spend time with Return. All day. After this litte party two friends are going to throw for me.
I just want to be with Return...

What a pleasant surprise!

It's still one hour left on that special day.
Turns out it didn't turn out so lame-o after all.
Sure it started bad.
Sure this whole thing with someone upsets me because I'm gonna be made to look like the bad guy or something.
Sure MSN is gonna be a bitch with the comps and stuff.
But... things turned around.
Hane and Ferret boy gave me a little party thing. That was pretty cool. While my dad was working MSN on my comp, I guess AIM and Yahell did their sign in automatic, and well... seeing as how I wasn't there... I never answered any of my messages that were recieved. Explained that part to Return just moments ago.
Not only that... got new parts for the compy.
Cake... MSN finally decided to work.
The best thing about today was that... I got a call from my Return!
I was so surprised! I wasn't expecting it at all. I got all weak from surprise and whatnot. Oh... it was just... wonderful! Can't find the words to explain how I feel.
So I'm going to wrap this up...
To Return, Hane, and yeah... even Ferret boy.
Thank you all for making my birthday one to surely remember!

PS: I love you Return! I really wish you could've been here or I could've been there. Even with simple words typed on a screen make me happy. Hearing your voice made me happy. Knowing that I have you makes me happy. I love you~ *kitty kisses*